how to be a friend

I know how to be a pastor.

I know (and am learning) how to be a husband.

I am learning how to be a father.

A son.

But, how do I be a friend. I am surrounded by friends, and yet am lonely and without friends.

I think it is me. I am learning how to keep people at a distance. I don't make the time to invest in people. I am sad. I am alone.

I have everything, but nothing.

Have I incurred this on myself?

I don't run with a group of guys. I don't do manly things.

Jesus, help me.

Prayer/Word

Good morning Jesus. I know that I need you today. I need you to guide my steps and help me b the man that you have called me to be. Thank you for your unending grace and mercy. Thank you for rescuing me from myself time and time again. Thank you for your provision in every way for me. Today I desire to represent you in a whole way. Please help me to turn from sin and to become more like you.

Currently I am excited about ministry. We have some very cool things coming up that I think can impact the community of young people that I serve. Jesus, I pray that you would be seen clearly through all of it. I pray that you would grow stronger and bigger in the lives of these high schoolers. I pray that through Drew Barryessa, IVES, Winter Retreat and the DreamCenter these students would be increasingly awakened to your goodness and your "not-to-be-ignored" call on their life. Lord, we ask you to guide our efforts in every way.

Drew and I had some good time together yesterday. We went over what the service will look like this weekend with him sharing. We settled on bantering back and forth talking about this idea that we are children of God. I think we both have a lot of thoughts about this...and we will work together to challenge the students. We will also challenge the students to remember that it is by grace they have been saved - so no man can boast.

It is tremendously humbling to remember that it is only the Lord's grace that even allowed us to see the need for his grace. Jesus, thank you for grace and mercy...

Galations 3

"So it is clear that no one can be made right with God by trying to keep the law"

My Lord...my kids have been up for the last hour...making a huge fuss...and not getting enough sleep...Jesus please be with Donia today...give her rest....and help the kids to obey.

Views from the Game

Donia looking pretty pre-game.

Heather rooted for the wrong team.

Isaac in his get-up

Game time!

Off to Eugene

I was mostly raised in the Eugene, OR area....

For those of you who do not know where that is: Wiki Link

We (Donia, Jenna, Owen and myself) are heading down there today.

Donia and I have tickets to the Oregon vs Arizona State football game on Saturday and the kids will hang out with my parents...

Go Ducks!

Reconciled

It is amazing to see the love and grace of Jesus extended.

I can't get enough of it. Two important people reconciled today. They forgave and extended forgiveness.

Incredible.

Now I go to work - energized for what I am called to do.

Thank you Jesus.

Difficulty of devotions

For me it is easy to fall out of rhythm.

I love spending time with Jesus - but I often fail to.  Why?  I don't know where to start.  I know...I am a pastor and these things should be easy or natural to me.  But I am just like you - I have to "refocus sometimes."

So, I am going to join an online bible reading program.  I am joining midstream mind you. 

Here - http://www.enewhope.org/bible/

3 months

Lately I have been floating.

A lot has transpired in my life over the last three months and I feel like I am just now starting to hit the "routine." Here I am up early in the morning - and I am going to spend some good time with Jesus - in the context of regular life - for the first time in a while.

Life flows in such interesting ways. Here I am - I have learned and experienced so much - but also feel so "not up to the task."

I have floated along the river of life - have hit some snags and identified some holes in my boat. And now I am at a lull in the stream.

The holidays haven't quite hit and the craziness of the beginning of the school year is quieting down. The death of my mother in law is still fresh, but we seem to be moving forward. (I guess that is the only way that one can move on the time continuum, but what I mean to say is that we are moving positively - our grief and mourning seems to be healthy)

To Jesus I now run.

UPDATE (4:49am)

The seed that fell among the thorns represents others who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced.

I am hearing that the Lord would like me to focus my life and my direction so that I am able to live a fruitful life. I am 29 now and feel that I am at a crucial stage of my life. I know that what I choose to focus on during the next 5 years is really going to set the tone for the rest of my life. Specifically I refer to ministry.

I have gained a great deal of experience in my current place of vocational ministry. And I know that I still have things to learn. But where am I going? In the past I have felt that I am going to be a "senior pastor." I have thought that I was being called to lead a church on my own.

I have also felt the desire to begin my own multi-media business.

I also have experience ministering in Europe. I would like to know if that is something that continues to be in my future.

Jesus, I pray for your wisdom as I approach these next months and years. Please help me to focus on the "now" so that I am ready for the "then." I am so grateful for everything you have given me in my life. Thank you for provision and favor. I pray that we would always walk delicately and with wisdom on this earth. Jesus, please be with me today.

Amen.